A very British 'Pirate' adventure

I like dry humor. That's why I was quite delighted that my kids wanted to see the newly released animated film The Pirates! Band of Misfits.

The movie was solidly funny, that is if you like British humor. If you don't, it can still be entertaining but not as fun to watch.

This comedy features a band of pirates who aren't that great at pillaging, looting, drinking and all those other typical pirate activities. But they do enjoy "Ham Night" and loving on their overly plump parrot, who turns out to be a dodo bird. Turns out the bird is a key to the silly, dramatic action-filled adventure the pirates will take involving Charles Darwin and a scientific contest that guarantees the winner many riches.

Despite his pirate shortcomings, Pirate Captain (voiced by Hugh Grant) is set on entering and winning Pirate of the Year. As he enters, thinking he has a shot, three others — Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek), Black Belamy (Jeremy Piven) and Peg Leg Hastings (Lenny Henry) — show him up in with flashy entrances and huge treasures. He's defeated and tries to hide his interest in entering. But he's found out and laughed at. Captain tries to save face by raiding a number of ships. All are funny, but they don't land him the riches he needs to pirate up. Then he meets Charles Darwin, who recognizes Captains parrot is the only living dodo bird. Darwin wants to win a scientific contest and cunningly convinces Captain to take the bird to London. Oh, there are missteps and a hilarious monkey who speaks with cards. And then there's Queen Victoria, who hates pirates and loves rare animals. She has her eyes on the bird. You'll have to watch to see what happens.

The film, while funny, touches on friendship, fame and money. Would you give up someone you love for fame and fortune? How far would you go to make a name for yourself? It's a good conversation for the ride home.

It's rated PG for mild action, rude humor and language. Honestly, I can't remember any real bad words. There is some humor aimed at parents, and best of all, it features a Flight of the Conchords song. So proud of my daughter for recognizing it. My rating: B.

Dreary Raven never reaches potential

The Raven is an interesting concept for a movie. It just never reaches it's potential.

The film takes many liberties in telling a story where Edgar Allen Poe's fictional works (The Masque of the Red Death, The Tell-Tale Heart, and The Pit and the Pendulum) are used as inspiration for a serial killer. For additional intrigue, it's set days before Poe's true mysterious death (historians can't agree on what happened, which has lead to many myths) on Oct. 7, 1849. Interesting? Yes. Something worth suspending beliefs? Sure. Sadly, it just ends up being a bit messy whodunit. Boo!

The movie begins with Poe (John Cusack) getting kicked out of bar, meanwhile the first grisly copycat murder takes place. Poe is briefly a suspect, and then joins Baltimore Detective Fields (Luke Evans) on the case to solve the crimes. Poe gets emotionally involved after his beloved Emily (Alice Eve), his love interest in the movie, is taken by the lunatic recreating Poe's dark, gruesome stories. Suddenly, Poe is a bit of an action star and sleuth. Hmmm.

My husband and I walked out thinking that the movie producers had to be trying to capitalize on the success of Sherlock Holmes and our recent love for gore. The problem is the screenplay wasn't written as sharply, nor did it move with the same cadence of Sherlock Holmes. Besides, John Cusack isn't Robert Downey Jr. And some of the gore just seemed over the top. Then again, the crimes recreates some of Poe's disturbing deaths. Still, the film just didn't win me over. My rating: D+.

Rated R for bloody violence and grisly images. This really is one for grown-ups and possibly older teens who are used to seeing gore. Among the images: nearly severed head, spurting blood, a person sliced in half, lots of blood on dead bodies, a cut off human tongue and a raccoon eating a human heart.

Avengers mania at home

Every time The Avengers commercial comes on, my son perks up. "Mom, I want to see that."

I think, "Haven't you told me that a million times?" But I say, "You can go if you pay with your own money. I'll buy popcorn."

My daughter recently got into the begging. I think she doesn't want to be left out of the movie talk at school. With so many commercials for toys and the movie, what kid doesn't know Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, the Hulk and others will hit the big screen May 4?

I can understand their enthusiasm. I, myself, can't wait to see Robert Downey Jr. play Iron Man again. Oh, and that Thor guy isn't bad to watch either...But I play it off as though it's gonna be a burden to take them.

It's adorable watching my sometimes angels talk about a movie they both want to see. They didn't even argue when they were talking about the movies leading up the The Avengers last weekend. I took a photo to document their friendly discussion in front of the movie poster. They discussed how they wouldn't mind watching an Avengers movie marathon before the new release. We have several of the movies on DVD, so I can accommodate them at home.

Once in the car, the arguing again began. But for a moment, they had something in common.

Cheers.

"Touchback" isn't a touchdown

I expected a feel good movie with Touchback, starring Kurt Russell and Brian Presley. I could tell by the trailer that this one would be a reminder that life as you know it is pretty good.

It would be predictable, but would it make me feel like I did for George? Let's just say, I wasn't captivated, nor did I get misty-eyed. Maybe it was the distracting aging makeup. Maybe it was the acting. It wasn't terrible, but what I saw on screen made me think that I was watching a Hallmark Channel movie.

The film centers around Scott Murphy (Presley), the star quarterback of the Coldwater High School football team. He's on his way to become a star at Ohio State. He just has the big championship game to play. And then tragedy strikes. In making a crazy play to win the game, he breaks his leg in a way that'll make even manly sports fans cringe.

Fast forward about 20 years. Scott is still in Coldwater, looking like he's pushing 50 instead of 40. He didn't live the dream. His best friend did. Instead of a famous quarterback of his dreams, he's a soybean farmer in corn country. He's about to lose everything after his crop freezes, so he desperately attempts taking his life. Instead, he's taken back to high school knowing all he knows about the future. He finally sees what the girl he later marries is like in high school, and he sees how terrible he and his friends can be to unpopular kids. And he has a chance to change his outcome. Will things change, a la Back to the Future? Or will he realize his life is full, ala It's a Wonderful Life? You will know as you watch. No surprises here.

The story is one of redemption, true friends and gratitude. It's a good talker, should you invite your older tweens to see this one. Would you make changes if you could "fix" your past? If you did, do you think the people important in your life now would still be there for you in your alternate future? Why do you think so many people talk about regretting past decisions? Oh, so many questions... It's rated PG-13 for some mature thematic elements.

I have to go back to the makeup because it REALLY bothered me. As high schoolers, they looked almost 30. As 40-year-olds, they looked ancient. Yes, many movies have had this issue, and you can get past it if the acting and/or story is great. This movie was just OK, so it bothered me. I remember having the same issue with Grease, but at least it had good music.

Toouchback gets a D+. If it's on TV, I'll encourage my kids to watch it. But really, the ultimate story for loving your life for us is It's a Wonderful Life. My husband adds that Mr. Destiny is pretty good story about destiny, too. I've not seen it, but I guess I have to now. :)

Two documentary films worth seeing

Both Jiro Dreams of Sushi and Marley open today. Both are films worth seeing. That's not to say both will be loved by most moviegoers. Documentaries require you to experience the subject rather than the movie thrill ride. That doesn't mean they aren't entertaining. But they don't seem to keep the mass population in mind in their edits.

I'd say both are worth taking older tweens and teens, particularly those interested in world culture and food for Jiro Dreams of Sushi and music and politics for Marley. Waiting for the DVD is fine, too.

I liked learning about Jiro more than Marley. I found him fascinating and adorable. I laughed many times, too. Plus, the film is paced fairly well. Bob Marley is a music legend and pioneer in Reggae music and I loved learning more about him — there were many segments that made you laugh or you think, interesting. However, the length of the movie made the film experience less enjoyable.

Check out the trailers:

JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI, rated PG for mild thematic elements and brief smoking. In Japanese with English subtitles.

MARLEY, rated PG-13 for drug content, thematic elements and some violent images. Some subtitles.

Opening this week: 'Bully' & 'The Cabin in the Woods'

I'm looking forward to seeing two movies that open this Friday, April 13. Each one has quite a different style and audience.

Bully: There's been so much buzz about this documentary looking into the lives of five kids and families dealing with bullying. The original R rating had many pushing for a PG-13 so more kids would see it. Language is a big factor. The Weinstein Co. then announced that Bully would be released without a rating. In the end, after some edits, Bully got the PG-13.

Check out the trailer:


The Cabin in the Woods: This film (Chris Hemsworth, Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford) just seems like it could having me jumping out of my seat. That's what I call scary fun. Here's hoping. It's about five friends who go to a remote place in the woods, that seems to be some crazy arena of terror. It's rated R for strong bloody horror violence and gore, language, drug use and some sexuality/nudity. Check out the trailer:


What are you looking forward to seeing?

8 movies for Easter

We have tons of Christmas and Halloween movies, but we don't have any Easter movies — not even the ones with cute bunnies. That doesn't mean we don't enjoy a good movie about Easter or our favorite mythical bunny who likes to leave eggs and chocolate treats for the kiddies.

Here are some we'd rent the DVD or stop channel surfing to watch:


-Hop (2011). So this is an Easter movie because the it's about the the Easter Bunny's son escaping Easter Island so he can become a rock star in Hollywood. A crazy adventure ensues. It's silly, but a decent family movie to put you a jovial mood. Stars James Marsden and the voice of Russell Brand. Rated PG.

-Jesus of Nazareth (1977). A depiction of the life of Christ. Originally a TV mini series. Stars Michael York, Olivia Hussey, Christopher Plummer, Anne Bancroft and Ernest Borgnine.


-The Passion of the Christ (2004). This is an intense film that chronicles the last 12 hours before Jesus' crucifixion. Stars James Caviezel. Rated R.

-Jesus Christ Superstar (1973). A film version of the popular rock opera, it depicts the final days of Jesus Christ through the eyes of Judas Iscariot. Stars Ted Neely, Carl Anderson and Yvonne Elliman.

-The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965). Tells the story of the life of Jesus. Stars Max von Sydow, Charlton Heston and Dorothy McGuire.

We've outgrown the kiddie movies, but these will likely keep their attention:

-Here Comes Peter Cottontail (1971). Peter Cottontail wants to become the Easter Bunny, but Evil Irontail has other plans.

-It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown (1974). The Peanuts gang gets ready for Easter.

-Winnie the Pooh: Springtime With Roo (2004). Roo copes with Rabbit canceling Easter.